we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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