We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
