yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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