Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
