Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
