so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
