you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
