Banned from zoo.
Again?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
