He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
