I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
