Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
