it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize