So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
