i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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