It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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