You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
