hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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