it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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