none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
