Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
