You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
