doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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