Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
