i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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