She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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