dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
