I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
