i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
