Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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