So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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