i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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