he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
