Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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