you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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