Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
