I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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