Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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