Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
