I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
