Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize