Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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