I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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