what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
NoShamevember. You game?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
