We won't sleep together?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize