Dual....:-)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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