That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
