what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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