Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
