that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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