i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
