well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
