he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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