I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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