if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
