We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
