i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
