she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
