OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
