Betty ford says i'm here all night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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