I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
