yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Randomize
