she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
