so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
