Dual....:-)
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
