I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
